Again. This is the pain of a yo-yo dieter. It's aweful.
I've been doing Crossfit on and off. I have not maintained my membership with the CF gym because even with a discounted rate, I can't afford the extra $60-80 a month in gas just to drive over there to workout for 20 minutes. I want to do it, but its just not realistically possible for me at this point.
But the great thing about Crossfit? You dont need a gym to do it or succeed at it. During my time at the box, I was investing bits and pieces into my own gear. I now have dumbbells, kettlebells, a 45lb Oly bar with a full set of weight plates, a jump rope, a soft med ball for wall balls, a 16" box jump and a very large double garage. My handsome hubby was smart enough to build it to accomodate even the largest pickup trucks. Anytime we invest in our home, we do so with the vision of selling it in the future and what would attract buyers. In a tiny farming town, a garage that will fit two Ford F-550s, mirrors and all, was a great investment. Especially in the winter when Emily wants to pull the vehicles out and use it for dog stuff, or Crossfitting. :o)
I would still like to somehow jimmy rig a pull up bar. Pullups are my enemy, and also one of my largest goals. The day that I can do a dead hang pull up without any assistance will be the day I rejoice. For myself. Because that will mean that I worked my ass off to earn it.
Today I jumped back on the wagon. I am a yo-yo dieter, so this wagon ride may last a week or it may last forever. Maybe I should have named this blog The Confessions of a Yo-Yo Dieter instead of Crossfit Born. But the current name still fits, because I've never enjoyed working out the way I have when I do Crossfit.
Today kicks off a brand new month. And even though it's not technically the end of summer, September kicks off fall for me. Its a new month, a new season. It's time for a new plan.
Today I begin a new running program. A different one. Tomorrow I begin a new Crossfit plan. Together... Well the pair should make me feel better about myself if nothing else. I need structure! Summer is for being lazy. But summer is over now!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Two Drive Thrus
Today... is a good day.
I drove into, and then out of, two fast food drive throughs.
Yay me!
I have a one hour lunch break every day. My first stop was to stop at the gas station. The only other mandatory stop I had to make on my break was to Wal-Mart. My addictive brain kicked in at that point, and I drove my freshly fueled up vehicle right into the Burger King drive through across the street. Almost without even thinking about it. I sat there for a second, and after gauging my hunger, realized that I didnt really feel like eating here. So I jumped out of line and moved onto Wal-Mart.
So I got to Wal-Mart, picked up my things. I still hadn't eaten. I had 20 minutes left to get back to work. There is a McDonald's right next to WalMart, so I snuck into the parking lot and into the drive through line. And once again, realized that I didnt really want this food.
What's interesting to me is how entering the drive throughs sated my addictive mind. It wasn't the food. It was the motion of going to get the food. Once I was in line, I snapped right out of it. What is that about anyways? So I came back to work without having eaten, sat through a meeting, and just now ate a bowl of high fiber oatmeal.
Again... yay me.
I drove into, and then out of, two fast food drive throughs.
Yay me!
I have a one hour lunch break every day. My first stop was to stop at the gas station. The only other mandatory stop I had to make on my break was to Wal-Mart. My addictive brain kicked in at that point, and I drove my freshly fueled up vehicle right into the Burger King drive through across the street. Almost without even thinking about it. I sat there for a second, and after gauging my hunger, realized that I didnt really feel like eating here. So I jumped out of line and moved onto Wal-Mart.
So I got to Wal-Mart, picked up my things. I still hadn't eaten. I had 20 minutes left to get back to work. There is a McDonald's right next to WalMart, so I snuck into the parking lot and into the drive through line. And once again, realized that I didnt really want this food.
What's interesting to me is how entering the drive throughs sated my addictive mind. It wasn't the food. It was the motion of going to get the food. Once I was in line, I snapped right out of it. What is that about anyways? So I came back to work without having eaten, sat through a meeting, and just now ate a bowl of high fiber oatmeal.
Again... yay me.
The Struggle
I'm struggling.
I've had my coffee. My yogurt. My string cheese. My bing cherries.
I'm starving. I want a Snickers. And McDonalds. And a soda!
Why does this happen?
Why is my brain on track and motivated to work one minute, and the next it's throwing everything out and saying 'go get the french fries! its fine!'?
You tell me this!
I should have named my blog 'confessions of a food addict'. Jeez.
I've had my coffee. My yogurt. My string cheese. My bing cherries.
I'm starving. I want a Snickers. And McDonalds. And a soda!
Why does this happen?
Why is my brain on track and motivated to work one minute, and the next it's throwing everything out and saying 'go get the french fries! its fine!'?
You tell me this!
I should have named my blog 'confessions of a food addict'. Jeez.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
The Truth
Pictures do lie. Because in these photos, I look like I'm having fun.
Workout: July 6, 2010
Half of 10, 10, 10, 10, 10...
5 rounds for time:
10 pushups
10 situps
10 squats
100 single jump ropes
TIME: 17:01
I'm so out of shape.
Workout: July 6, 2010
Half of 10, 10, 10, 10, 10...
5 rounds for time:
10 pushups
10 situps
10 squats
100 single jump ropes
TIME: 17:01
I'm so out of shape.
Big Boppers
What is it that makes a person eat 3 Blue Bunny Big Boppers in 1 day?
I certainly dont have the answer, considering that it was me, and I still don't have a clue.
I have been surrounded by people with addictions my whole life. Drugs, alcohol, food, cigarettes, cars... (dont ask). I always felt grateful that I was one of those who didn't have any of those addictions that they just couldn't kick. But the ugly of an addiction is that the person who has it doesn't realize they have it. I have always believed that a person with an addiction needs to hit some sort of rock bottom before they can begin their journey back to the light.
I realize now that I have an addiction. I'm addicted to food. And not just any food, but fast food. Processed food. Quick food. Anything that is bad for you that I can get my hands on right now.
Unfortunately, I had to gain more than 100lbs before I was able to get a hint of what was going on with me. I've been on this 'diet' of mine for over a decade now. I was the tall, skinny, lanky girl up until about 5 years ago, and I thought I was fat.
This past weekend, as I cleaned the spare bedroom for the guests that would be joining us for the holiday, I found a clothes basket. And in this overloaded basket were stacks and stacks of folded clothing. Clothing that I wore when I first me my fiance, Red. Clothing that I wore when I was a size single digit. When I first met Red, I had 2 jobs. One was as a waitress, the other was at a hunt dog training facility. I loved that job. I spent all day every day outside with the dogs. And my standard work attire consisted of these little grey shorts and a size small tshirt. I held up the shorts that I used to wear when I thought I was a cow. These shorts now? I would be surprised if my arms would fit through them.
What is my problem? What was my problem back then? I was 165-170lbs, muscular, toned, healthy, and at 6ft tall! Hell, I wore size small tshirts and they fit me perfectly. Now I'm lucky to feel comfortable in an extra large.
3 Big Boppers. My rock bottom.
Ready, Set, Go....
I certainly dont have the answer, considering that it was me, and I still don't have a clue.
I have been surrounded by people with addictions my whole life. Drugs, alcohol, food, cigarettes, cars... (dont ask). I always felt grateful that I was one of those who didn't have any of those addictions that they just couldn't kick. But the ugly of an addiction is that the person who has it doesn't realize they have it. I have always believed that a person with an addiction needs to hit some sort of rock bottom before they can begin their journey back to the light.
I realize now that I have an addiction. I'm addicted to food. And not just any food, but fast food. Processed food. Quick food. Anything that is bad for you that I can get my hands on right now.
Unfortunately, I had to gain more than 100lbs before I was able to get a hint of what was going on with me. I've been on this 'diet' of mine for over a decade now. I was the tall, skinny, lanky girl up until about 5 years ago, and I thought I was fat.
This past weekend, as I cleaned the spare bedroom for the guests that would be joining us for the holiday, I found a clothes basket. And in this overloaded basket were stacks and stacks of folded clothing. Clothing that I wore when I first me my fiance, Red. Clothing that I wore when I was a size single digit. When I first met Red, I had 2 jobs. One was as a waitress, the other was at a hunt dog training facility. I loved that job. I spent all day every day outside with the dogs. And my standard work attire consisted of these little grey shorts and a size small tshirt. I held up the shorts that I used to wear when I thought I was a cow. These shorts now? I would be surprised if my arms would fit through them.
What is my problem? What was my problem back then? I was 165-170lbs, muscular, toned, healthy, and at 6ft tall! Hell, I wore size small tshirts and they fit me perfectly. Now I'm lucky to feel comfortable in an extra large.
3 Big Boppers. My rock bottom.
Ready, Set, Go....
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
The Primal Blueprint
Well, if you've been following along, you know that my last two self imposed challenges have been a total bust. I've been unmotivated lately. I have so many reasons that I want to lose weight and become a healthier version of myself. But how come none of them seem to be enough for me? What does a person have to do before they can start making a real change?
Some days I'm really on a role. I eat healthy, I go to Crossfit, I walk my dogs, I clean the house, I get extra work done at work... And then all of a sudden I'm on such a high from being so damn good that before I even realized what's happened, I'm chowing on fast food.
I don't understand.
I. Don't. Understand.
I've always wanted to go Paleo. No, that's wrong. I've not always wanted to go Paleo. But since I began Crossfitting, I've wanted to be able to be 100% Paleo. But Paleo is tough. Really, really tough. I learned of a concept that's similar to it but a little easier. It's called Primal. I ordered Mark's book The Primal Blueprint. Its good so far. And I want to do it. All of it. I want to be a Primal being.
So, I'm imposing another challenge. I want this. I really really want this. I begin imeediately, and will go as long as I can. The first obstical will be getting through the weekend. I am attending a 3 day disc doggin seminar and it will be filled with chips and soda and hot dogs. And bread.
My plan is simply to follow the 10 Primal Laws.
1) To eat lots of plants and animals
2) Avoid poisonous things
3) Move frequently at a slow pace
4) Lift Heavy things
5) Sprint once and a while
6) Get adequate sleep
7) Play
8) Get adequate sunlight
9) Avoid stupid mistakes
10) Use my brain
So basically, eat mostly fruits and vegetables and fish and chicken and meat, don't eat McDonalds and pizza and soda (all poisonous to my health!) walk the dogs extra, get my butt to Crossfit, run around, sleep, jam with my dogs and work in my garden, get outside, don't go rock climbing barefoot and without ropes (lol!) and to engage my brain often by reading more and taking more time for real activites and stepping away from the television.
This isn't a difficult regimine. It only requires that I stop being lazy. And I'm so lazy.
Um, by the way... I haven't been ignoring my blog here. I just forgot my pasword for about a month until it dawned on me this morning. Nice, right?
Some days I'm really on a role. I eat healthy, I go to Crossfit, I walk my dogs, I clean the house, I get extra work done at work... And then all of a sudden I'm on such a high from being so damn good that before I even realized what's happened, I'm chowing on fast food.
I don't understand.
I. Don't. Understand.
I've always wanted to go Paleo. No, that's wrong. I've not always wanted to go Paleo. But since I began Crossfitting, I've wanted to be able to be 100% Paleo. But Paleo is tough. Really, really tough. I learned of a concept that's similar to it but a little easier. It's called Primal. I ordered Mark's book The Primal Blueprint. Its good so far. And I want to do it. All of it. I want to be a Primal being.
So, I'm imposing another challenge. I want this. I really really want this. I begin imeediately, and will go as long as I can. The first obstical will be getting through the weekend. I am attending a 3 day disc doggin seminar and it will be filled with chips and soda and hot dogs. And bread.
My plan is simply to follow the 10 Primal Laws.
1) To eat lots of plants and animals
2) Avoid poisonous things
3) Move frequently at a slow pace
4) Lift Heavy things
5) Sprint once and a while
6) Get adequate sleep
7) Play
8) Get adequate sunlight
9) Avoid stupid mistakes
10) Use my brain
So basically, eat mostly fruits and vegetables and fish and chicken and meat, don't eat McDonalds and pizza and soda (all poisonous to my health!) walk the dogs extra, get my butt to Crossfit, run around, sleep, jam with my dogs and work in my garden, get outside, don't go rock climbing barefoot and without ropes (lol!) and to engage my brain often by reading more and taking more time for real activites and stepping away from the television.
This isn't a difficult regimine. It only requires that I stop being lazy. And I'm so lazy.
Um, by the way... I haven't been ignoring my blog here. I just forgot my pasword for about a month until it dawned on me this morning. Nice, right?
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Good Day 2
One day down.... however many more days I will be blessed with in my lifetime to go!
It's day two and I feel good today. Wait, that's a big. fat. lie. I feel miserable. I'm sore as H. E. Double Hockey Stick! Or like I was beaten with hockey sticks! Or like I fell down on the ice! Or... Where was I going with this again?
Right, I'm sore. But other than my muscles, I feel great. I topped out at 1442 calories yesterday. I dont know how many I should be consuming a day at this point. More research is needed I guess.
Coffee/Creamer (45) *45*
High Fiber MBS Oatmeal (160) *205*
Hard boiled Egg (78) *283*
Trident Gum (5) *288*
Yes, I realize that today is shaping up to be like yesterday. But this is what I chose for breakfast, K? It was either that or the McD's drive through. And it works for me.
Trident Gum (5) *293*
It's day two and I feel good today. Wait, that's a big. fat. lie. I feel miserable. I'm sore as H. E. Double Hockey Stick! Or like I was beaten with hockey sticks! Or like I fell down on the ice! Or... Where was I going with this again?
Right, I'm sore. But other than my muscles, I feel great. I topped out at 1442 calories yesterday. I dont know how many I should be consuming a day at this point. More research is needed I guess.
Coffee/Creamer (45) *45*
High Fiber MBS Oatmeal (160) *205*
Hard boiled Egg (78) *283*
Trident Gum (5) *288*
Yes, I realize that today is shaping up to be like yesterday. But this is what I chose for breakfast, K? It was either that or the McD's drive through. And it works for me.
Trident Gum (5) *293*
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